yeahhs

fast & furious but gone

2008-11-12T18:50:00.000-08:00

My heart only fought for what it wanted. Now my heart is having to fight to let him go.
Now that I have loved so purely and deeply,I have realized how lonely I really am.

Some people think that it's holding on that makes one strong; sometimes it's letting go.
You have to forgive to forget,and forget, to feel again.

Don't ever give up if you still want to try,
Don't ever wipe your tears if you still want to cry.
Don't ever settle for an answer if you still want to know.
Don't ever say you don't love him if you can't let him go.

You said you didn't want to see me get hurt,
so does that mean you closed your eyes when I cried?

Don't say we're not right for each other,
the way I see it,
we're not meant for anyone else.

Nobody said it was easy;
it's such a shame for us to part.
Nobody said it was easy...
no one ever said it would be this hard.

lasik!

2008-09-01T01:16:00.000-07:00

i jsut love driving la. know you can go whereever you want, need not worry about cabfare and you can be at anywhere you want to be at anytime. these few weeks i have been renting car to play with. it has been 2 years ever since i passed my TP, and recently i just gained back the confidence to drive. 1st car was Suzuki Swift, and recently drove Honda Fit. Really like the feel of Honda Fit... Urgh!! i want to own a car. Damn.

Anyway, i finally made up my mind to do Lasik surgery. the operation date will be on 24 Sept 08. so excited...can't wait to have purrffeeeccctttt eyesight!!

:) love.

its all over

2008-08-24T20:43:00.000-07:00

OWELLS. 2 yrs 6 months' relationship with Him, all over. singlehood awaits. Am i really enjoying? Or have I been deceiving myself? Do I really want freedom/singlehood, rather than a stability life? Can I have both joy and happiness? i don't really think it is possible.

From one 'A', to another 'A' - long process i must say, getting to know someone all over again, getting closer to him, understand him, live with him... and knowing that at the end of it, we're still going seperate ways. it is hard, truly hard. but what's the matter when there's no trust at the end of it?

mum told me something: in every relationship, don't put in your heart & soul. only when you know he is really the one, going all out in this relationship is not too late.

this maybe true to a certain extent. if you dont contribute, how will you know the end result? Sighs. even if i regretted it now, things will stay like this and nothing more than that. IT'S ALL OVER.

anyway, i have tendered my resignation to my current company. i am moving off to a whole new challenge and a job role which i never thought that i am going to undertake. but still it happens in the end. Thou job security is very low there, but no risk no gain what... Try try lor. And i guess i needed a new environment to get over the big trauma. Hope all my colleagues can understand this.

Some misses...

That wraps up our love for the past 2 yrs plus.

i will always miss you and love you.

Bangkok!

2008-06-06T01:46:00.000-07:00

i have 1 good news & 1 bad news to share. Which one you wanna hear first?

K, let's start with the good news first. i have finally bought my Coach bag. i am really loving it. Thanks to Zhen, Syl, Nette, Mon & Fong. Thanks for the big birthday gift. i still have leftover monies, so still thinking how to use it. Maybe get myself another bag or maybe perfume which i have yet to decide which one. Hmm..

Now, the bad news. Sorry my ladies: i forgot to buy things for you all from Bangkok. *guilty*

Seriously, i can't find anything nice. i am really thoughtful cans - i wanted to buy puppies back for you all. but you know la Singapore laws, hence i can't. I wanted to buy clothes - then again i think you gals have more clothes than i do. i wanted to buy u gals accessories too - AGAIN, you know it yourself that you all have more accessories than you actually require, so for what?! And And AND, i wanted to buy a Thailand handsome guy back for you, but hor, My taste, you Fancy ma? :) So in the end, forget it. Don't blame me. Blame on the fact that we have different preferences!

Bangkok was fine. Don't feel like coming back. But i tell you, i hate ChatuChak! So warm, so many things and none looks nice & pretty in my eyes. i just bought 1 tee, few keychains & a pair of shorts there. Seriously, i prefer Suan Lum night bazaar. More focused. Bought a MAN UTD polo from a shopping mall and a few tees from Factory Outlet. my loss was quite minimum however it was an eye opener. Their temples are gold-plated and i went to visit a very famous Thai monk. These are some activities you will never experience in Singapore.

And Zhen: i bought an ED HARDY tee shirt. i live up to my name! hehe.

Que Sera Sera

2008-04-23T09:07:00.000-07:00

Recently so many things happen at work, it is really getting out of hand.

To stay, or to leave?? That is the critical question the girls have been asking each other at work.

it has been getting so tough to work there, especially with the people - Good & Bad. i often tell myself that this might not be the worst i will meet in my whole career journey, but i really dont wish the worst to come!! have sent out a few resumes to prospective employers, but yet no replies. am feeling so desperate and can someone please tell me what to do? but nett nett, if salary increases, i 80% will stay on. but, who will stay on with me?

coming to the last paper of this semester already, and straight after my paper, i will be going MOS with my colleagues. so long since i last club, i am already feeling so excited as i talk about it!! but sadly none of my friends are going MOS on friday.

que sera sera, whatever will be, will be.

:))

Cha Jian Er Guo

2008-04-20T16:56:00.000-07:00

I am so loving Sam Lee. a.k.a Li Sheng Jie. Especially this Song, Cha Jian Er Guo. Listen to it. you won't regret.

to mr

2008-04-20T05:11:00.000-07:00

MR, this song is for you. Pay attention to the lyrics. :))

devildevil

2008-04-19T02:52:00.000-07:00

this is really a boring weekend. i have HROD test on Monday, which means weekend is burnt. And ER exam on Friday, which also implies my whole of next week is burnt too. and i am having this very sickening flu - tons of sticky sticky whitish grossly tissues lingering in my nasal passage.

Seriously, i am very very sian of studying le. i don't understand why. Probably i just don't feel the urgency as yet. haha. Sunday den panick la!!

i really wish to watch the movie with you... Maybe what you say is true. I am destined to disappoint you in ur entire life..

Drowsy, drowsy..

wishlist

2008-03-29T04:06:00.000-07:00

ok, i have been asked to upload my pictures of my Birthday wants on the blog. so here it is...

That's the Coach hangbag i want. :) But i really do not know the authentic brown color is better, pink is more suitable for me, or the white color looks classier.. but do check out its website - www.coach.com

And if you are thinking what is a Maltese pup.. There it is.. Cute isnt it?

and my lovely Kate Spade tote looks like this..

i want, i want, i want!!

oh by the way, i am going to Bangkok this coming May!! i am so excited.

new handphone

2008-03-16T01:56:00.000-07:00

today is a HAPPY day.

Did my HROD test in the morning, and whatever i have memorize - i just jotted them down. well, hope to score for the paper, though i thought i actually did a stupid thing by not answering to the MBO qns but tried to attempt the "Give examples.." qns. owells, its over. just leave it to fate. need to start mugging for ER. and i can tell you, i have absolutely no faith in that paper. Especially, i nearly failed it during my Diploma. so, yes, please tell me about the stressssss..

Head down to Parkway with Roy and Weiqin to purchase my handphone and to replace my oready-dead nokia 6288. well, the new one resemble my old one, but i like it. weird la..

see see my new handphone...

the unglam part about this picture is my masked Face! and of course my shirt - Can you make out what design the tee is? hehe.

Ok, closed up. - of cos without my face this time.

nice hor?

anyways, the not-so-happy thing about today is that Hon had to report back to work again. -_- super duper boring. he's not there to choose the phone with me, to eat sushi with me and of cos shopping with me. miss miss miss.

Ok, my sis asked me to post this up and sell this hot pants off to a prettier owner who possesses skinner legs.. please support!! xie xie!

A Pair of White Hot Pants (brand new!) S$22

Monica's photos

2008-03-14T03:13:00.000-07:00

Hon's back to camp, and probably for the whole weekend. i am totally bored by his departure and of course with the pile of lectures notes i have to memorise by tomorrow 9a.m. for my HROD test. Gawd, i hate test and i seriously don't know the usage of it. next week there's ER, worst! no Good Friday for me. *doubly sians*

i need to go clubbing really soon. i have missing all the night time for almost half a year and seriously i think i am aging.

Photos with Monica & Fong @ Vienna Restaurant..

It was Monica's 21st birthday celebration..

We bought her a Creative Mp3! Pink color somemore. Monica: We hope you like it!!

That marks my whole week. Spend 2.5 days of leave staying at home to study for my test. Pray hard hard i can pass with flying colours..

Que Sera Sera...

Monica's birthday

2008-03-11T09:29:00.000-07:00

my phone is so officially dead. meaning i might have lost most of your contacts, which sometimes is frustrating. well, may buy nokia 6500 slide as a replacement. still contemplating thou.

went for Monica's birthday celebration yesterday at Vienna Restaurant. As usual, we had our fill, we laughed, we joked and of cos we talked about everything under the sun. it is so fun and not forgetting stress-less when i always hang out with them. fong aka molly will always be the one quietly sitting there and let us 'suan' her, while me and monica will sing each other tunes and joke about Anything. it is really joyous to have besties like that. Regardless of race, religion, likes/dislikes and even whether you smoke or not, will still stick by you, go through thick and thin with you. But these days, who is still so willing to do this?

On Sunday it was Nette's birthday. Didnt really enjoy myself as much as i was expecting. but i feel the birthday love larh. so many gathered together, giving you their birthday blessings, not forgeting tons of nice presents and yes finally, it's the company that matters la. i, too, wish i am going to have one. at least i hope this year 's wont be so mandane.

Talking about presents, where's my birthday WANTS' LIST?

1. Coach Bag
2. A Maltese pup (which i will call her Jewel, or call him Dino)
3. Kate Spade Tote bag
4. Shiseido Brightening Serum & Control Base
5. A pair of air tickets to BKK in May'08
6. G2000 business suit
7. Creative mp4

i know the above mentioned are not achievable. Just for your info only... hehe.

promise to upload more picts soon.! haha.

nights!

not back

2008-03-04T08:37:00.000-08:00

Yet another night without Honey by my side.

i feel so lonely. i wish he can come back now..

3 March 2008

2008-03-02T07:38:00.000-08:00

i hate MAS SELAMAT.

BLARDY COWARD.

the escape of this guy has aroused much tension in people's lives. take me for example, i cannot sleep well, constantly worried for the safety of army/police/special command personnels who are involved in the search (esp Honey) and of cos' for Singapore, my country. This guy is highly dangerous who is capable of anything with a capital 'A'! one day he is not caught, no one Singaporean can rest or sleep in peace.

" i still want to go bangkok one hor! don't cause implications to us can or not!?!?!? "

home alone tonight. honey received activation. poor thing. am so worried about him, guess i can't sleep well too.

anws i did some read up on Depression and took a test on it. Guess wad, i was diagnosed with MAJOR DEPRESSION. i really do not know whether it was due to burnout at work and family matters that caused me to cry frequently, feeling sad/fatigue these days, or i AM really suffering from depression. Website suggested me to look for my family doctor to get some anti-depressant or if worst, see a psychiatrist. yes, WHAT?! PSYCHIATRIST?! NO WAY!

or maybe i really should?

well, decide to just leave it and see how in about 1 month's time? i believe this is just Temporary mild depression. But anyway, which man who really suffer from Depression will say " I AM SUFFERING FROM DEPRESSION?" Guess only me bahh. 'cos i can feel it coming.

i promise i won't commit suicide. promise. *cross fingers*

Pictures from Esther's wedding on 1 March 08...

Anniversary

2008-02-28T06:44:00.000-08:00

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY MY FRIENDS!

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!

guess ive missed out all these dates, and forgotten to send all my wishes to my dearest.

Updates...

Very nice pic. hon's cousin's gf took for us. cos i forgot about my camera. anyway, pardon my shirt. hah.

our 2nd anniversary. had buffet dinner at Royal Plaza on Scotts - Carousel. expensive, but nice... ambience is fabulous and we had our fill.

Dess3rts!!!

Lobsters...Mussels..Clams..Crabs..

Yummy, i lioke...

Distinction

2008-01-12T10:48:00.000-08:00

Just received my results yesterday for OTB. My ever first Degree unit. Guess what? To my utmost amazement, i scored a Distinction!

i surely did not expect such results la, cos if you remember, i was whining like Hell after my paper. initially i am contented with just a Credit pass, or even a mere Pass, but God gave me a Distinction. Glory! Glory! Glorious!

Undertook an additional role at work, am feeling rather exhausted and motivation-less (if you know what i mean). No doubt i pursue job enrichment, i personally felt that job satisfaction should be met first. Yeah, if you know what i mean - i need more $$$.

i seriously felt sick when rich people keep saying that they are poor & penniless. i don't understand la. you're blessed, you're a Degree holder, you draw x1 times than me, and you are still there complaining that you need more $$, increment blah blah blah.. Eat your own Shit la!! people here are earning much lesser that you, and i am not complaining.. why are u then?

New Year, new hopes, new targets, new resolutions...

i wish to lose 3 more kgs. haha. well, i met last year's resolution, i managed to lose 2-3 kgs in a year!! wahaha. i am proud cans! thou it ain't a great amount. i hope for my career, i can climb up to a higher ladder & gain some recognition for my work. As for my studies, i wish i can get Distinction for every subject (thou its gonna be hard - but i will try), and never will i want to feel anxious after my paper, cos i swear, i am going to study so well and so hard.

God bless me!!!

Talking about God, Nette has been asking me to go back to church. i felt it. i felt the presence again. i know people might go : chey, you are away from God's light for so long, can you actually feel it? i thought of it too.. Lets face it la, Becky. The presence is merely your imagination.

oh ya! i hate office politics!

Some picts before i go:

Chritsmas

2007-12-26T07:26:00.000-08:00

Had an early Christmas dinner with Darling Zhen over at Oscar's @ Conrad Hotel last Wednesday. Nette was missing cos she has choir practice. Yeah, we had a feast.

I was gorging on all those 4-star delicacies, by filling my plates full with Sashimi, Mussels, Sushi, Pasta, Steak etc etc.. And zhen was so stingy when picking food. Of cos, ended up so full that i can barely walk. Zhen was still looking good after the meal, on the contrary i was holding onto my stomach, trying to stuff it in, never allowing it to bulge out.

You know what i mean... She is still so jovial, but my face bloated.

Darling zhen got me my lovely Estee Lauder Pleasures Delight. i nearly wanted to get its Body Lotion. Wonders how much is it...

And yes! it comes with a Christmas card too!!

Close up of my Estee Lauder Parfum!

We were all carrying many Barangs Barangs.. So head home after that. That sums up our meet up. Nette, im missing you. Pris, im missing you more. Monica, miss miss miss!

Love this pic. Model for my friend. :))

cough cough

2007-12-06T13:52:00.000-08:00

bleahs.

was sick for the past 2 days, now coughing away like an old lady, with frequent headaches. gawd, this is killing me. plus, OTB exam next Tues! panicky panic!!

Last Friday, hon and i caught Enchanted @ AMK Hub. not bad, just that the ending caught us by surprise. Tonight, gonna watch The Golden Compass with Monica.

Cant wait cant wait! More picts later...

bad week for me

2007-11-26T23:55:00.000-08:00

*phew*

heng arh the week has finally past, and a brand new week awaiting. of course am excited cos Christmas & the New Year is coming. but apart from that, last week has been hectic and problematic.

Let's start off. Went for my first skincare class on Monday @ Chinatown Plaza. i really love the environment, i am exposed to so many Artistry products, and i get to try them!! It is really user-friendly and all comes with a nice fragrance. i just hope that stop introducing me with all these products, it will surely burn a big hole in my pocket! - Opps, there goes my bonus.

Tuesday, went to Clementi Camp for a Recruitment Drive with the girls. Met a few of my secondary mates, had a short catch up. Was there only for half a day, the other half i went shopping around City Hall, Bugis & Amk Hub. And i got a Nike Water Bottle for Hons(:

Wednesday was School Day. Went to SMa for a group/individual presentation, and i only got 13/15. *signs* i thought i score quite well, but most of my group mates got like 13.5 ... Depressing isn't it? But owells, i'll make sure i study hard for my examination. Psst, i started my revision for exam already!

Thursday was a horrendous day for me. Morning started with a heated argument between me & Hons. And that lasted for the day. So i didnt meet Hons that night, firstly due to the quarrel in the morning, oso he had a wedding dinner to attend.

Friday was okay. Met Hons after work, and apparently he injured his back. So he has become "donald duck" for the weekend. Accompany him to 'Godpa' aka his sensei, for his treatment and head home after dinner.

As i was saying he became ducky for the weekend, thus that means we didnt go out for dating. Yea, except for Saturday, went down to Hana for my 2nd skincare class, and audition for their cover girl. Saturday, maybe because i am too bored or wad, again me and Hons misunderstood each other, and yes, quarrel again.

What a tiring week!

Sunday was worst! when we were heading out for breakfast, we realise a early gift from Santa to Hons! Someone left a scratch & dent on the head of his car. That must be an act of a stupid inconsiderate lorry driver. the scratch is quite deep, and hons has no choice but to respray his whole car.

So there goes my Batam trip. Due to the act of the inconsiderate, unkind, blardy, stupid, lousy, unskillful Bas*ard driver, we have to forsake the Batam trip. How can anyone do this? Run away at the expense of others. i curse this someone - Opps! Whatever laaa!!!

So Hons and me concluded we won't go for our Batam, and we will save up our bonuses for Bangkok next year. :) thats not that bad afterall. i mean, no Batam, but looking forward to BKK isnt that long. at least i can shop more in BKK!

Hence, that sums up my whole of last week's agenda... Sian!

P.S To the families of the victims in the capsize of the Dragon Boat in Cambodia, my Deepest condolences to you all, and may the Spirits rest peacefully in Heaven.

ITE Career Fair

2007-11-16T03:58:00.000-08:00

was helping out @ ITE Career Fair yesterday with Kat, Jess, Kathy, Jac & May.
i was partnering Kat & May over at Opus' booth.
and guess wad, our booth was right smacked in the middle.
well, not exactly middle, but its just so obvious & visible larh.

it was an total eye-opener for me! especially when i have never gone to such an event as a Recruiter.
as a newbie, no doubt there will be a few butterflies in the stomach & sudden lost of interest due to your insecurities.
owells.
but i still manage to overcome it & i have finally did it!
katherine was sucha darling. she guided me, stood by me, and yeah... thanks Ger!

sentosa & SMRt' booths were besyd us. they come up with performer/goodies bag to giveaway to applicants - which somehow distinguish Opus becos we're rather plain.
but well, our competitive advantage is in our youth!

anyways, we did manage to get applicants, though i am not really sure how relevant it is...
We're going for another career fair next Tues.
heading down to Maju Camp to aim for those ORD personnels.
the girls at work are so excited cans.
we are all waiting to see & meet hunks!

God, lemme lose a few more pounds first...

Hopeless/Helpless

2007-11-13T23:54:00.000-08:00

suddenly i felt quite depressed, over i-don't-even-know-what. everything has been mandane. guess this is what happened when the year is coming to an end, and you've more or less achieve what has to be achieved, done whatever has to be done. i'm in this state now - my colleagues call it the "Denial Syndrome". Seriously i don't know how this illness come about, but it has somehow embedded in my brain. weird as it is...

i have gotten back my results for my individual report. i got 7/10! though its just a credit pass, but i am already delighted. Thank Honey:) for staying with me in the library while i do my research. you've contributed to this.

And, the schnauzer owner did not reply my message. Sighs.

Next week, i am going to start my Make-Up class already! After that, i will be able to doll myself up and be pretty.

i wanna share some picts which Emily had sent over to me where they doll up for one of their competition.

See that my nose bridge has become higher? my cheekbones are higher? this is the art of make up.

Big eyes, sharp features...

i love it! i love it! i love it!

schnauzer i want!

2007-11-06T01:31:00.000-08:00

i saw this Mini Schnauzer up for adoption in petschannel.com, i get so excited outta sudden. i emailed the owner instantly, thou the advert was placed like yesterday? but i seriously wish the owner will call me back, and grant me the adopter of her Schnauzer pup.

it is so cute cans. i dont knoe what words can be used to describe it. am i being impulsive? no, i dont think so. i have been very confident with my actions, i believe this is so as well.

oh pls believe me...

the shopping bug is really irritating me right now. there's so many wants now la. with my AWS, i am still comtemplating should i get myself a Coach handbag that i've been eyeing for a YEAR! well, hon will not be so nice to get me one la. psst, for the convenience for anyone who is thinking what to get for me for Xmas, mm, give you a clue. the Coach bag looks something like this-

Purrffeccct! hah. it costs about 600+bucks if i have not remember wrongly.

Christmas sucks. i love receiving gifts, but buying presents for other has never been my gift. whatever!

puppies for sale?

2007-11-04T23:52:00.000-08:00

Hon brought me to Vivocity on Saturaday for a quick shop. he knows i have been cooped up at home for many weekends and he, indeed, was remorsed over it. we went Pet Safari, and we saw a Maltese getting a groom! it is so cute, i tell you... it looks like this....

So cute right? and i saw a mini Schnauzer... Gosh, i feel like getting a Puppy! i will want either a Maltese, Shih Tzu, Schnauzer or Toy poodle. My likings are summarized below:

Year is coming to an end, what are your end year/new year's resolution ? Of course, my end year resolution is to lose a few more pounds & tone up my limbs. Not only that, i wish i can get to adopt a pup. Prolly, the first wish is not difficult to achieve - as long as i exercise determination & self-control. However, the second wish may always stay as a wish, which may or may not happen at all. i don't know, ever since what has happened to my many hamsters, none of them trusted me anymore.

" Guys, i regret for whatever i did already ok?! Can't you all just give me one more chance? i promise i will be gentle, and i won't bite!! "

How about new year resolutions? well, i am still in the midst of compiling. and i shall broadcast soon. Someone or somewhere told or wrote that once you have made a resolution/target, communicate to someone. 'cos you will have double the zest and enthusiasism to achieve them.

Went jogging @ Punggol Park yesterday, despite the not-so-good-looking-weather. Hon & me still manage to complete 5 rounds of 1.3km, which totals to abt 5.5-6km. we had Chocolate ice cream for supper. Were damn hungry la. so heck the calories, eat first den worry.

on the way back, hon asked funny funny questions like " Do you think we can last long?? " kinda questions. for a moment, i was asking myself why is he acting so weirdly, but come to realise, prolly he really treasured the love shared between us. Hon, i treasure you too.

A mini Schnauzer makes me go crazy.

beauty beauty

2007-10-23T21:30:00.000-07:00

we Finally cleared our GE Women's Run. we all heaved a sigh of relief. it was indeed a breakthrough record for me, i ran a total distance of 5km in 27 mins. i was aiming at 25 mins actually. but owells, never mind. i am proud of myself nevertheless.

my basic rule in life is never to scrimp on skincare and makeup, especially foundation. A good foundation is essential as it is the first thing that touches your face. After what has happened to my face previously, i seriously suffer a shock and a painful lesson on skincare. The whole saga shook me so badly and i am so determined that even if it will cost me much money, i will not mind spending generously on skincare and make up products.

recently i am hooked on Artistry make up products, and Emily has been a great help to me. she taught me all the do-es and don't-es, and is so willing to assist me in all my queries. and yes, she has managed to psycho me to take up Make-Up course @ Hana's. it has always been pleasure and hobby to doll up and of course, helping others to doll up too. Eyebrows plucking is never a difficulty for me - Hon's brows are done by me, and i must say i did a great job on that.

i have this thing for ladies-stuff. learning @ Hana's can widen my exposure. if i do well, they will invited me to help out at their bash/event/dnd blah blah blah... isn't that nice?

yes, that will be my next year resolution. pick up a new hobby and skills.

shall come up with my new year resolution list soon. :)

Happy Halloween, my dear friends.

ge, HERE I AM!

2007-10-19T07:21:00.000-07:00

i bought a new laptop. yeah!

just went for a facial over @ Emily's. she did a pore cleansing mask on me, den a moisturizing mask. i have been helping out at her school of skincare and makeup, Hana, as a model for their shows, competition blah blah blah..

exams are coming. its like urghhh.. so difficult la.

i realise the power of friendship now. and i really want to have good companion.

We are all excited for GE Run!

Sobs, my best manager in Opus is leaving me. :(

jogjogjog

2007-09-03T17:18:00.000-07:00

Been to the orientation last Thursday, and the referencing course on Saturday.. man, i can feel the study bug haunting me already. The way the lecturer describe how an academic report has to be done, how diverse my research should be when it comes to completing an assignment/report, the importance of referencing... i was like "Man, how can i remember so many quotes?"

life is full of uncertainties & challenges, isn't it? one day, i was just as free as a bird; one day i make a decision to take up my Degree, *poopf* i am burdened by worries.

caught Ratatouile (aka The Rat Show) on Friday night. it is splendid. Hon & i enjoyed it, and yes we did laugh our lungs out. Saturday was spent @ SMa, after which shopping at Bugis Junction & Street. Hon bought me this white color big bag for my school. Thanks sweetie. Sunday was an early day for us. We went Punggol Park for a 5km jog..

i love Honey.

Random

2007-08-23T00:15:00.000-07:00

Thursday. And still, no phone calls.

i really hate this waiting and pending kinda feeling. it really kills your mood and enthusiasm.

owells, apart from the dislikes and my only reason for mood swings so far, i have to announce that i have Sore Thighs! i ran 4.8 km on Tuesday, that is one round of Bedok Reservoir. Ok, seriously that's tiring. but it was a great jog. the air is fresh & refreshing, it totally takes your stress away.

Picts...

Shacked

2007-08-20T14:10:00.000-07:00

Monday morning flies in just a blink of an eye. No phone calls from the bank.

Stop doing this to me. Faster call and tell me it has been approved!

Well, had a great rest over the weekends, thou abit burnt out on Sat. Went gym with Alex & his cousins on Sat, and i totally shacked it out. 30 minutes of fast jogging, 20 mins of doing the 'Runner' equipment, 20 mins of cycling, 120 sit ups, weight lifting... Goodness gracious me, now as i think back, i seriously don't believe i did all those.

i had a fantastic sweat out over the weekends. but somehow i feel much regretful. i was munching away, having 3-4 small meals, well, i have to emphasize again, [S m a l l ] meals. Thou its small, but i feel so bad and sinful la. Nvm, i am going to jog again on Tuesday with the office girls. at least i have more reasons to eat eat eat.

oh yes, did i mention in my earlier post, i am participating in the Great Eastern Women 5Km run? a big challenge to me larh cos i have never joined competitive run before. Hopefully this will be fun exposure.

More picts come up...

NDP'07

2007-08-16T11:52:00.000-07:00

ok, i have changed my blogskin again. this time is out of boredom. well, i wanted something simple yet delicious, so i chose this black purplish skin, to suit my mood, at least for now.

i have finally decided to take up a degree course in SMa, and it will start in September. i am so not ready & prepared to start school so early larh. intended to start in Jan 08, but after much contemplation, i have concluded and so-called persuaded myself to do it this year.

i am of course, feeling doubly excited as days draw nearer, however, i am still pending for bank's approval with regards to my bank loan. the waiting is pulling my enthusiasm down, and surely, i do not wish to be disappointed at the very last minute larhh. i am praying for miracles to happen, hopefully Ssooon, and whoever out there read this entry, pls, pray for me too.

i am not alone. i mean academically, Sharon is taking up the course with me (yeah same class too!), and Hons is starting his Psychology course in Jan'08. now i must meditate everyday, telling myself "i love Studying..!"

Back to reality, work has been fine to me. Colleagues are nice. However, i keep have a calling from my inner self that says "Find a new & better paying job!" i mean who does not like that idea? i did calculate my Pros & Cons of changing a job now (before my Degree), and the evaluation is a strict NO WAY. so ya, kick off that stupid calling-that is out of nowhere. stinkyly stupid fool i had been.

oh yes, National Day!! i was at Ritz Carlton Hotel, and man oh man, the view was painfully gorgeous. Monica, Fong Yee & i crashed into my Cousin's hotel room in RC, to steal that panaromic view of the whole Esplanade and the so-called 'National Day Parade @ Marina Bay'07'. but indeed we had so much fun, and photos are sickening beautiful larhh. Can't take my eyes off those striking coloured fireworks that appear as a Enormous Flower to me, esp on that very night. i will post photos soon!

i heart Monica & Fong Yee.
They have been the ones, lately, who supported me, cared for me & show their concerns on me.

2007-07-11T01:51:00.000-07:00

2007-07-10T19:05:00.000-07:00

changed a new blog skin. my favorite strawberry shortcake.. wahh, times flies, i'm going to Genting this Sunday! as i pen down my thoughts this very moment, i'm overwhelmed with anticipation & excitement. it may sounds like a boring place to most, but we love it, isn't it hunny?

work & more work has taken a big part of my life. i really cannot wait to settle down & have a good rest. my brain is going dead soon, i really need to take my Degree soon. ((:

i miss my friends; poly mates, secondary school buddies, church regulars, clubbing khakis etc.. now with hon & work incorporating together, i have less leisure time with my pals, and i am seriously guilty of that. i cant help it, sistas.. i hope you girls understand me.

sian

2007-07-02T19:59:00.000-07:00

my long awaited Genting trip has finally been finalised. i can't describe how happy & elated i am. i am so sure i will take so many pictures laa. everyone ask me why i like to go Genting so much, actually i also don't know, but Genting is hon's & mine first trip overseas, and we enjoyed so much during our first trip. so we decide probably we will make Genting a yearly kinda thing.

i can't tell you how much i hate Cyclists who cycle on the super tight pedestrian walkway. it's so irritating cans. they will like keep 'ring ring' their small little bell, and expect us to let them have the right of way. this is totally ridiculous la. i thought cycling is banned?

ok GST increased, smoking is banned in clubs & pubs. there is not much recreation left in Singapore already.

i realised i need a break at work.

FRiends?

2007-06-15T11:33:00.000-07:00

Who doesn't yearn for more friends? the big word 'friends' i am referring to are the ones who share your burdens, joy and loves with.. at times when you are feeling low, or meet with crisis, something big happening, these friends will be the 1st you notify, because you just want them to be the first fews to feel your happiness, sadness and excitment..

To be really frank, i love that kind of feelings. however, it is soon fading and is vanishing as i ages.

Why is that things have to be this way? i mean, its just that my weekend activities are different from you all.! well, i no longer sing, dance and clap in that beautiful temple with you side by side anymore, i can no longer go for small gathering on weekdays with you.. But all these you know it 2 years ago! Why can't we be brave and face the future together?! it is just that i now have a different belief, but i am still the old me. the crazy becky you know.. Stop saying that i have a busy life out there, i am still always available to hear you speak, cry with you and laugh crazily together. why can't we just make that extra effort to enable us bond again?

yes, my heart is crying out. i am definitely not angry with Him, who i believe snatch my friends away. but Come on, let's be fair. Giving the reason that i am always not with you, thus our bond waivers.. i personally think it's rubbish.

Some things are better left unsaid. Some things are better if you share. i felt that this is something in my heart which i don't mind sharing it virtually. i am hurt, because they meant everything to me. but somehow i just felt they don't share the same harbour as me. we are and will always be on different shores. i don't know how far we can go from where we are now, but i just wanna cherish every moment i can and able to spend with them.

7 years flew by, things come and go. Learn to let go is the best description i can give to depict my view on this matter.

K, enough on all these. share some pics with whoever view my blog: ciaos!

New Pana FX30

2007-06-04T17:21:00.000-07:00

i am a happy girl.

i have a new digital camera.

name: Panasonic FX30..

Cool..

my birthday

2007-05-15T23:03:00.000-07:00

jsut blown my 2 Big candles yesterday. it used to be jsut 1 Big one, and many small ones, but nowww... time doesn't wait, does it? few years ago you are still so fresh and celebrating sweet 18, and now, i am already a young adult welcoming a new decade of life.

thou not many people actually sms-ed me to give me their greetings, i am jsut delighted that my loved ones are there, and we indeed have a smashing celebration on Friday night & with me dearest Hon yesterday and the night before. will post pics when zhen has uploaded them. ger, i so lurve your camera laa. it is really nice. ((:

k, more on the Friday. we had sakae sushi @ Funan IT Mall, and a mass drinking session @ Fashion Bar. Some old clique, there's Zhen, Nette, Syl, Han, Daryl & EeWen. Daryl & Ee Wen jsut appeared without our acknowledgement. quite a surprise thou.. but at least they did not come empty-handed - they blessed me with a Dorothy Perkins' Gift card. haven really check out how much was credited into that card, but it is the thought that counts. Thanks Bro!! Zhen blessed me with a pure white Guess wallet. nice, and pretty. Syl gave me a pair of earrings, and nette blessed me with 4 bottles of hair supplements. ((:

well,monica and fong are so much of a pair of dearies. they treated me Crystal Jade, and bought me Strawberry Shortcake water dispenser. im liek so touched and feel so great i can acknowledge such great pals while doing internship in Sentosa. i hope monica will not be going anywhere else, but stay in Singapore.. will miss her.

one more big big thing to declare: i was confirmed yesterday by my Senior Manager! i had passed my 3 months' probation period, and now i am proud to declare I AM AN OPUSIAN!! in conjunction with my birthday celebration, they bought a Strawberry shortcake (a real cake..) and that's when i officially turn 20 years old. of course celebration comes with present, they blessed me with Anna Sui-Secret Wish-Magic Romance perfume.. it smells so heavenly. i really feel so loved by them.

wanna take the chance to extend my gratitude to each and everyone who sms-ed me on my birthday, who fill me with their blessings and best wishes. thou some/most of them don't visit me blog (some don't even know that i have a blog!) i felt your loves, your wishes and blessings. Thank you for remembering me.

wanna say a Biggest Thank you to Honeey who shower me with gifts and loves on my birthday. Althou it wasn't as grand as last year's, but i truly enjoyed every single moment of them all.

DKNY watch

2007-04-23T17:06:00.000-07:00

Hon surprised me again yesterday night with my very-advanced birthday gift.
Yes, he bought me the dkny watch posted below. so damn sweet of him laa. using the same tricks again and again.

i love my DKNY and my honey sweets.
((:

i am so a happy girl.

20/04/2007

2007-04-20T13:43:00.000-07:00

today i saw Him again! but on the second look, he isn't so appealing afterall.

owells, i must say Zhen's really lucky lah. my best friend got into NIE, how wonderful is that.. Don't worry ger, i will surely engaged you to be my children's tutor. Don't reject hor...

This week has been quite mandane for me. It is either work-home, work-honey or work-work. OT last week has kept me totally drained this week. Except for Monday, went down to visit Nette with Zhen & Syl. Oh yes, Anna Sui lippie is so cool cans. i love it, and its new fragrance Magic Romance-Secret Wish is splendid.

Was flipping through Women's Weekly, this Gucci watch is attractive cans. but guess its price, $1386 +.. i nearly fall off my chair.

Last week hasn't been a gr8 week between me and hunns. Had huge fights, and to think i nearly wanted to end everything at that very moment. Stress management, i guess i need more aid in that area. Especially when last week i was at my weakest, when i had to do OT for 3 consecutive days, and not getting the right feedback&response from hunns have aggravate stuffs & made me feel even more helpless.

i am jsut glad its another bright day after a heavy downpour, and things are getting much better for the both of us. i understand the problem with me, and i have taught myself not to be so dependent on him. on the serious note, for the past year, i have grown to be sucha wimp and started to rely on hunns for any other things. Yes, though i know the fact that being like this is such a "gu-niang" but i did nothing to stop myself from feeling and reacting this way.

i know i love him so much, and i will do anything to keep him by my side. but the inferiority i own inside of me grows rapidly and i have no room to release/tell anyone. in all my past relationships, i guess my besties were all too bored of me 'cos i kept telling them the incidents happened in my rltshps. So i make a point, in this rltsp with hunns, i will settle every hiccups on my own. and yes, i did that for a year. Till last week, Zhen saw the another side of me, or rather us.

this love is different. i know it.

eye candy

2007-04-19T00:28:00.001-07:00

two consecutive days i saw my eye-candyy.

((:
*smiles*

2007-04-18T23:54:00.000-07:00

Global Personality Test Results

Stability (26%) low which suggests you are very worrying, insecure, emotional, and anxious.
Orderliness (46%) medium which suggests you are moderately organized, hard working, and reliable while still remaining flexible, efficient, and fun.
Extraversion (76%) high which suggests you are overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense too often of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity.

Take'>http://similarminds.com/global5.html">Take Free Global Personality Test
personality/'>http://similarminds.com">personality tests by similarminds.com

2007-04-18T01:31:00.001-07:00

What Becky Means

B is for Bold
E is for Emotional
C is for Charming
K is for Kind
Y is for Yummy

What Does Your Name Mean?

girls

2007-04-16T22:11:00.000-07:00

nette: i hope you are feeling just fine. it is indeed shocking, but be strong. confide in us if you have to, becos' we will always be here.

my best friend's Daddy just passed away yesterday morning. went down to the wake yesterday night. Truthfully, i was overwhelmed with emotions till i really have no idea what exactly is going through my mind & heart. i feel like weeping, but i find no reason to weep. Zhen lost herself. but i can understand the reason behind it.

Met up with the girly girls last week at hardrock for a gr8 dinner, and then wine-y wine @ Harry's. It has been ages since we laugh, joke and hit each other together. Gosh, i love those gfs' feelings. Australia onz? And i wanna go Sentosa soon.

DKNY watch is purrrffeeectt...

Isn't this watch nice? i seriously do not know the exact cost.. but i am sure it costs more than 200bucks.. any kind souls??

Kickboxing

2007-03-26T23:05:00.001-07:00

Finally! my Kickboxing is confirmed. me and zhen is going for it. wooHoo. i need some cardio exercise to burn my fats away. $65 for 12 sessions.. not consider expensive laa. ((: Good..

Good Friday is coming, and my Genting trip has to be cancelled cos sweets will be on standby throughout the weekend. *sighs. The thought that i have to work during the weekends make me sick and dreadful. *double sighs.

Well, i am beginning to enjoy working life. i actually dreamt myself climbing up the corporate ladder year by year. it is sucha virtual confirmation to the soul. People find me so boring having to work straight after Diploma education, and suggested me to go for a good holiday before committing myself to Full-time job which concerns my entire life. On the contrary, i rather work first, and when i possess the experience and moneyy, i will have the entire life to enjoy such fortune.

I am not born with a silver spoon. Thus, i have learnt to appreciate things when it comes.

Gentleman...

2007-03-26T22:49:00.001-07:00

Gentleman........

Is one who gives up his seat in the bus for Ladies regardless of age.

Emotionally teared

2007-03-20T11:05:00.000-07:00

I really feel bad. i cant blame on the fact that i DO NOT KNOW i need to advise the staff. ignorance is not exactly a bliss. it can be a 'bliss' in disguise, but in my context, NOPE! it is never a fortunate thing.

Okie, the whole story goes like this. this particular Filipino's employment pass is expiring on 7 Apr, while her contract with Opus is on 9 Apr. According to my sup, i need to advise her on her last day of service in order to get her completion bonus. however, i only know i have to advice her yesterday. So she is so-called 'kept in the dark' lah. and now, Esther has to clear this shit for me.

Not exactly angry with myself lah, just wondering why am i not observant enough to do things better and stop giving people trouble. i mean of course i am confident of doing a gr8 job, but at times Saturn will always bug around me, pestering me, tearing away my self esteem.

oh gosh, i really do in need of a strong religion. the old me, the girl always on fire and appearing in church on Sat/sun.. is dying soon becos there is no more vision and motivation in her.

Merry X'mas

2006-12-22T11:04:00.001-08:00

today is the eve-eve of Christmas's eve. Everyone is so hyper about this season, giving gifts, receiving gifts.. from colleagues, friends, loved ones.. and even those people who are trying to win your heart or the one you're trying to win theirs.

went vivo to get more gifts for zhen & nette, walk super fast den head down to citylink to get the jacket hon like. it surely cost me a bomb. $119. my goodness. but its okie, at least i got him something. and also to everyone i heart.

monica's Pooh puzzle is the prettiest of all. and one that im the proudest of. but it all toppled off even before monica can see the whole picture. yes, i am disappointed. cos i thought i can do a better job than this.. im sorry monica. ):

Receive a Strawberry Shortcake water bottle from Monica. thanks gerl. i love anything that has Strawberry Shortcake on it. i'll surely use it till the Strawberry becomes blackberry. wahaha.

My HR team is so sweet and cute la. they call me the Candy Gerl, and i received a Mango sleeveless top from them for Xmas. so nice, and i really love the top. its so 'Me' laa. i bet they got it during the sales. haha. now Mango got 50% storewide SALE ma. haha

glad that molly like the present, or rather passionberry lip balm i got for her from The BodyShop. Actually i like that balm myself too. guess will get it the next time i pass by BodyShop. Must use ok, Molly? must beautify ureself. and dont ever speak 'Cove' as 'Golf' again.. it makes my toes laugh.

thats all for the morning of 22Dec, eve-eve of Christmas's eve. will be back. maybe laters.

she's back

2006-12-18T12:33:00.000-08:00

yea my supervisor is back. nope, i am not at all excited.

she brought that that kind of atmosphere.. you know what i mean? that kind of "you're an intern, you're outcaste. whatever u do is like shit, you're just an intern.." my god, these 6 months sitting beside her is the shittest! period in my life to date. i dno how i tahan, maybe cos there's people like monica who is so nice to always share my woes n nags with me. thats y i cant endure till now. yes, it's gna be over soon. still not sure about the contract offer soolin was talking about last month. let's see. maybe in the mean time look for more jobs.

well, my christmas shopping is more or less completed. accept for nette n zhen's presents. and hon's. =/ dreadful.

and imma sick. coughing away since last week. sniffing away too. poor me. and then, my fish & co with the gerls is cancelled. ): no good. meet soon.

oh and i gotta department tea! xmas! joyous! presents!! wooHoo..

xmas season

2006-12-13T22:40:00.000-08:00

they say Christmas is so exciting.

i say Xmas is a dread.

yes, of cos it is a dread. this season makes u think, and squeeze your brain juice, thinking of what presents are suitable to give as a gift to your friends, colleagues etc. and oh boy, i hate thinking. esp thinking of buying presents! i really have no idea.

mm.. monica, can you please tell me what you want?

it's like so sweet la, monica b0ught present for me already. i bet it must be some strawberry shortcake stuffs.

okie, i gotten buy presents for hon(: , monica, molly, zhen, nette, polytechnic friends and colleague.

and i feel like sleeping.
bleahs.

i loathe wedds

2006-12-03T05:09:00.000-08:00

ok. i hate weddings. the feeling is so appalling. my eyes welled up with tears - tears of happiness and something 'soury' - and i swear that's not jealous! - that will only surface during solemnisation and wedding dinner.

spent my whole day sharing the joy with my paternal family. My cousin got married yesterday, and it was a rather glam one. they had a european style for their holy matrimony. it was outdoor, the view is awesome. it took place at a golf club actually, called the Laguna Conutry Club. like what the pastor say, "very nice place for a european style wedding, but not a very good weather in Singapore to fulfil this style." True i thought, the sun was scorching hot, beads of perspiration was dripping down from the forehead of those who attended the matrimony. but it was sweet, very sweet. especially when they exchange vows, man! i feel like crying. i don't know why. Every wedding, every solemnisation.. i can feel tears forcing its way through. I start to think what if i am the bride? (:

Congratulations to Karin and Yucai. They are made for each other la.

When is my boyfriend going to propose to me?! hahaha.

Having a little too much food yesterday night at the dinner, i went for a jog at the nearby park, hoping to shed some oil. yea, indeed was sweating. but i experienced a blackout on my way back home. suddenly i feel like vomiting, and my head is spinning. the next thing i know, everything i see is black and turning. Fears gripped me. i kept telling myself, don't worry, hang on. you're reaching home. Don't fall back. i wanted to lie on the floor badly. in fact i have to. but i keep myself awake till i reach home and fainted after i shouted "Pa!".
Just a short blackout. i thought i'm going to die. because as i was walking back, i feel no heartbeat. only strings of perspiration kept dripping from my head. and total blackness. scary. its not heart attack la. prolly just a combi of mere heart attack and lack of exercise/oxygen.

ma sis is so happy with her new phone la! remember my perfume k. Rose one hor!! gonna add me some pics i took yest.

My sis, me, and my bro's gf - Azinna.

in the cab. going to my uncle's place.

Did some setting to my hair!

We're just so tired after a long day.

oh! and i drove today! My uncle's lancer. Too bad its automatic.

sian

2006-12-01T08:10:00.000-08:00

work is mandane. same things throughout the week. its Friday today, so it's our usual cold cut trio day. had sub-sub with molly(aka fongyee) and monica. it was joyous, altho its our the 3 of us. We had our share of delicious sandwiches, as well as tons of jokes and laughter. it's so nice knowing nice friends around. Esp one who has so much in common, share the same behaviour and attitude.. its cool. Really, and i really appreciate them, for not detesting me and my actions. cuz i can be bland at times. oh wells.

hon(: gonna be back on wed. thats like 4 days away from today. imma so excited and i cant wait. sheesh.

Sentosa is fun. Abit don't wanna leave, know so many people there, had so much fun bitching and joking with colleagues, other interns, friends.. Things are so gonna be different when i stepped out of Sentosa. felt so at home on the island alrdy la. make me doubly reluctant to leave. Pls.. gimme a job opportunity in Sentosa. plz?

Weekend is here. December just arrived. Attending wedding tmr. tts abt it. oh ya, and shopping for xmas with monica next week!!

Surely, gonna look forward.

work sucks

2006-11-29T01:32:00.000-08:00

it is so nice to feel appreciated. sometimes two simple words like "thank" and "you", when put together, can cause a huge reaction and creat a different chemistry. you slog ure guts out - you're tired, you're famished. and yet at the end of the day, someone may just say "why you do things like this one?", and your esteem, confidence etc went right down. yea, i broke down. i seriously dno why. i was so stupid. i should be able to manage such stress well, but i did not.

hon(: is coming back nxt week. cant wait la. so so miss. was with my sister in town ystd. had fun shopping and catching up. (:

JB

2006-11-25T05:43:00.000-08:00

went over the causeway today and pitched my virgin foot onto the plot which belongs to the Malayan-es -Johor Bahru. were there tog with my sliblings and mom. we have had a very enjoyable time catching up, with alittle gossiping of cos, and a mouthful of conversations overwhelmed by love, care and concern for each other.

had MacDonald for brunch, shop alittle and had genki sushi for so-called teabreak. bought a dress at JB City Square. mainly for the two major weddings coming up in December, one is for my cousin's, second is ken's.. i saw this damn nice tube dress at This Fashion too. and it costs only $22. liek freaking cheap ryte. and it looks nice. a pity i didnt took a pic with it. It was gorgeous, white with outlined roses. PurrfffEeecCct..!!

Hon(: just called me! i am thrilled. i am so happy la. and a lil secret, he hadnt bathe for 3 days! wtf ryte.? haha. but thats army outfield life. i cant miss him more. he is all who has been occupying my mind for the whole of last week. Poor thing hon(: imma sure he missed singapore as much as i missed him being here beside me. One more week and he is back. i seriously cant wait, my lil Odie.

Well, going back to JB.. i'll surely go back there again. To get cheap shoes for my Napfa and various other sports i am starting on liek my Hiphop dance class. Just cant find any other partners to go with me for it. Quite pessimistic about it, but imma certain i would go for it. with or without a partner. Oh, and one thing, Malaysians are really rude! no further comments on it. but thats my conclusion at the end of the day.

Check out my pics i took at JB! This my lovely dress that i just bought!

new skin

2006-11-24T05:24:00.000-08:00

gawd, last post was in August. i actually went missing for 3 months. suddenly in the blogging mood. so decide to change my skin and had a brand new tagboard.

3 months passed, and so many things happened. Just thought maybe i can share my thoughts freely here in my blog. first and foremost, i've got my Class 3 license!!! wooHoo. im damn proud of myself and im sure hon(: is the most proudest of all. hehe.

Sentosa has been kind to me. Well, learn pretty lotsa stuff and i am communicating well with the colleagues. i love its environment.

hadnt been rly meeting my friends. yana, ainie.. i miss all of you. im so sry that nite i cant meet u guys. i felt i have left out so much. pls fill me in soon k. so many things u guys didnt tell me. pmmff* zhen n nette too. i love all my buddies.

hon has gone for a long trip to australia for 2 weeks. and im seriously broke liek fcuk. on top of that, im bored. seriously damn freaking bored. and i have this report to rush, i rly jsut cant find tht adrenaline to do it. i am so drained and felt so damn lame. i cant be bothered. usually hon will help me with it, somehow he cant do so right now.. i felt so helpless. and zhen ure damn damn fcuking right. *i have been depending on him too much.

everything felt so lost and outta place when hon is not around. i seriously miss him. every part of him. i just cant find that pang of booster in me. Boringg.. Dreadful.. Damn!

oh yah, gotta new phone too. Proudly presents 6288. With compliments from Honey! haha. change new hp number too. so tag me if u want my new number. cheerios.

[

my dad

2006-08-14T08:56:00.000-07:00

was just pure wondering, why cant he jsut be liek other daddys, who will come around you shower you with gifts and candies, makes u happy when ure feeling down, show abit of his concern when ure not ure not feeling guud..

i donno why he has to shout and yell when he found out my brother is sick with high fever, claims that he has no money to buy a hot water heater when he knos that my sister is suffering slight symptoms of a rheumatism and i jsut stupidly slipped and knocked the back of my head(now with a big red bum n bruise on my right arm). And then again, kept on boasting that he's gonna shift house, when he has minimal amount of savings in his pocket.

seriously, i dno what is going through in his head. and i am getting abit fed up of all these shit. i love him, but does he love me as much? i will be seriously happy if he wasnt liek this. but alex taught me many. be patience, and be embrace with expectancy.

good horse?

2006-08-09T00:45:00.000-07:00

was taking 165 back home from clementi yesterday. my eyes were all concentrating on the moving graphics of TVmobile, but my thoughts kept running wild. i don't know what i am thinking of, my whole mind, body and soul just cant seem to connect.

beckett

2006-07-27T00:59:00.000-07:00

back from genting. a stress-free weekend at a hot-free place. it was just splendid. we eat, joke, talk, laugh like there's no tomorrow. we love and heart each other. how i just wish there's no end to this. i seriously don't mind staying in genting for long. cooling and liek i say... 100% no stress.

back to singapore, school sucks, weather sucks, feeling yucky all over.

genting tmr

2006-07-20T09:46:00.000-07:00

its like oh my gosh. i seriously don't believe that my last blog was in like May?? thats so blardy long ago la. was just checking my hr blog, so jez blog.

everyone was asking whether did i actually died? cos apparently i've been away awhile from their sight. well, not dead yet. just went missing awhile. was so tired with all the tests, projeks. year three seriously is the worse la. any kinda shit also have. but owells, no worries, i've went thru and been thru. so ive come out stronger and wiser.

anw ive this chance to go interview at PWC aka PriceWaterHouse Coopers for my 6months internship. liek woh Ho!! its such a nice company to work in laa. jez 'tian ling ling, di ling ling'.. hope they choose to work with them!

oh, my TP is on 4th Sept. cant wait to pass it la. but i seriously have no idea whether i can or nort. its like sucha rush.

genting is just tmr.
i bought honey a pair of birkenstock.
im broke.
im scare of the future.
gawd, pls allow me to survive through.

tired of working non-stop.

2006-05-26T00:55:00.000-07:00

back from a long break in blogging.
i should be feeling refreshed, but it turns out to be much more lethargic.
no, i hadn't been to club for ages. no, i haven been hanging out late lately.
seriously where this tiredness come from, i have absolutely no idea.

maybe its work, maybe its school
but this feeling is extraordinary.
i'm physically very exhausted.
i wish to give up work and just relax and indulge in my studies
but i realise i cant. who gonna feed me? my dad? alex?
cannot be right.

i wanna feel energetic again. i wanna be full of zest again.
when can that happen?
maybe when everyday is a weekend, then i will be able to let go of everything and chill.

birthday's over.
finally 19.

my wishlist

2006-03-19T22:17:00.001-08:00

Wants / Needs.

1. Parade Heels
2. Renoma Red Colour Wallet
3. 593 Levis Jeans
4. Accessories
5. More tops.
6. Tattoos
7. New hairdo/Color
8. Go on holiday(BKK?)
9. Lingerie
10. Hit the clubs

urgh, been shopping the past 2 days. and ive spent quite alort on heels, pants and food. wahaha. went bugis on sunday with sweets and we had a shop spree, didnt we.? bought a lockett, the bag ive always wanted, and a shirt for my brother as birthday present. honey bought himself a pouch and his uncle slippers. haha. (: we had so much fun laa. and the sunday jez go pass us in a blink. how i wish we can stay longer..

gotta werk hard hard and double hard to earn all the money i need to get those items on my TP soon and soon and hopefully very very soon..

xoxox

PDL

2006-03-19T22:17:00.000-08:00

over the weekends i've spent 25bucks on my provisional driving licence, hoping to start my first driving lesson as soon as possible. but mr poh said he's busy these days. he will give me a call back. i wonder how true it is. and how long will he take? my PDL can't wait. it expires in another six months. so thats Sept this year. Damn.

went to a tattoo studio on sunday. was actually intending to checking out the design and prices, and also take a look at the tattoo-ing process. painful, really it does look pain to me. alex's cousin did one on his leg, he went back to do shading. it bleeds and it swells. i can't imagine if i do it and my back swells.. i will be liek.. eewwwwweeewww.. nonetheless, i still insist. but nort now la. tattoo is jez a want, nort a need. i've more needs now.

firstly, for my driving. but fer now, i guess i can relax first. that mr poh so lazy.. wah sai, i wish he can call me back chop-chop fast. i cant wait to sit in and learn.

secondly, i wanna get levi's. i know i've been saying i wanna buy levi's jeans fer damn longg. this time is fer real. i rly wanna get em. i need jeans. yeahs.

thirdly, my 155bucks Fossil watch. the Lee Hom watch? ring any bell. my birthday's coming.. any kind and generous soul out there? mm..

ok, so after the tattoo studio we went makan makan at the stretch of local delicacies in chinatown..mei shi jie they call it. yep, had a slight headache, pop 2 panadol extras, head down to the Bark cafe at changi north. had a nice chill out there, the bad thing is i "lao sai" twice upon reaching da cafe. too much seaweed i guess.

aft Bark, we left for home. really don't wish the weekend to end in this way. hope it can go on forever..

so intend to go to the Bank tdy before i head down bisous, but was so god-damn lazy. sleep in, and slack. so unwilling to walk all the way to amk central jez fer the bank. lame.

ciao.
xoxox.

woooo

2006-03-13T01:37:00.000-08:00

holidays have started and i did nothing much other than more nights out with sweets alex, more staying over shiat and more and more eating late night supper. this kinda feeling is horrible. especially you know ure spending more and more moneyy away, plus the fact that tons of fats are swimming around in ure stomach. gosh.

i've a stiff neck here dude.

went swimming this afternoon. sun is there, but nort that strong. so owells.

my life is nothing without you.

random post

2006-03-03T11:04:00.000-08:00

exam week finally over though i still have one more paper to go. cma. fcuk it. oh ya, i didnt go fer the exam. was too scared and tired to... thought i can have more tyme to learn the traceable cost and decision making questions.. i knoe it will be alittle more difficult. but nvm la. since i choose it this way, bear the consequences lo. no choice.

cant wait fer zouk tonight. yea baby. with my fellow folks and love. (:
life without books and exams is totally cool.
wish cma retest is easier.
please please please.
some random pics ive digged out..

my sweet love :

facades of life ; took this when i was working fer Hermes.:

last year xmas dinner. my fav gerl all year round.: bef zouk."

tts my mrSmurphy. he's smelly, i swear.::

and oh, how i miss him so.. ::

sweets.

2006-02-22T01:37:00.000-08:00

back from work and supper at amk was damn guilty yet fufilling. got so many runaway bills ese days, making everyone so sick and all. jez hope everyone can jez be abit more honest la. angmos somemore.. bleahs.

oh yes, and i'm gonna do sth to myself. a tattoo or a piercing. yes, i need a drastic change. alex says at the spine is cool, but its painful. and i dont rly fancy. any ideas friend? and of cos a haircut. depicts a new relationship, a dead old flame.

i love my life now.
im perfectly fine.

alex.

2006-02-19T11:06:00.000-08:00

i will miss you. bye sweets.

now he says lets jez be friends.
liek wtf.

he wants me to jez be a doll stupidly waiting fer me
and now he dumped me aside cos i'm old and haggard

you may say i'm dumb i'm emotional
i don't give a damn
if chasing after the thing you deem important in ure lyf is a crime
then i rather be shot dead right at my forehead

two years..
and he jez killed me with his words
pierced through my heart
indeed its fatal
the old becky had passed away
and the new becky has jez resurrected

abit sadist. but that describe me.

one fine day, a nice gentleman came by.
he's everything i ever crave

all i need now is encouragements and blessings
happiness
is all i wanna ask for now

i never want to commit the same mistake i made
and get hurt the way i am now

i wish you all the best
forever loving you

please.

2006-02-12T14:06:00.000-08:00

he said two to three months.

all i want is an understanding boyfriend.

please God. bring him back to me.

hugs

2006-02-09T16:14:00.000-08:00

i miss my boyfriend

the end.

2006-02-08T04:04:00.000-08:00

i'm happier now. but i feel emptier.

our story ended.
thats truly our last episode.
as much as i don't want to, but i have to.

without trust and hope, how can there be love? how can we contd if there's no love?

my heart aches.
but who can mend it for me?

confused.

2006-02-05T14:52:00.000-08:00

what is happening to me? heart is in different pieces. belonging to different objects. hurts flying here and there. tears flowing in a non-stop mode. everything seems so funny. is this our last episode?

that night was fun at phuture. (:

should i or shouldn't i? i've hold on for so long, should i jez let it go like that?

i love you,
but can you give me a chance to love you more?

the black shirt with a red star

2006-02-03T13:12:00.000-08:00

i will be lying to myself if i say : sy, im nort at all affected by what you said that night.

but i will kidding if i say : yes, i'm so so upset over it la.

because i myself have no idea what is really bothering inside me. probably its school work. you knoe, exams, tests, projects.. it could be that factor that makes you feel uncomfortable, uneasy and worst, self-worthless. maybe i knoe that reason in me, jez that i cant describe out. mm, owells.. life sucks isnt it?

the pang of guilt, the gush of agony.. i dno. i jez wish to shake them off. never will i wish to get involved in such dillema, neither will i want another crush like this. you ask me is it painful? well, definite NO. liek c'mon, i'm nort feeling any pain.

ok ok, i admit. maybe another night of drowning myself with Barcardi Coke will be nice after all. =/

adopted from Yan's msn nick
Expect the Worst/Cos 'She's A Tourist' - rather nice i thought. quite rhyme and it seems to mean something, doesnt it?

quoted from Siyin's convers with me
She always got someone to clean up her own shit - wahaha. so lame.

chinablack on the 27th, phuture on the 30th and 1st. what a wonderful night life. oh and chinablack was fun. it was fun shaking the booties with the gerls. and of cos, my dear ashley. the very very skinny bamboo love. oh boy, how i regreted not going DXO that night la. the black shirt with a middle red star. (:

oh and dinner with my guppies is cool. fish and co at Love. damn nice cans. thou it is ex, but it was splendid. and syl, you didnt finish ure Tartar sauce in the end.. ohwells. after Fish n Co's party was great too. thou faith went off earlier=(

you didnt miss out anything, cos there's Zero cute guys in phuture that wed. mind you, zero. bitchy gerls have la, you want ryte lizhen? wahaha. joking.

three cheers to singlehood. hip-hip Hurray! hip-hip Hurrayyy! hip-hip Hurraayyyyy!!

fin

2006-01-23T23:05:00.000-08:00

left with ecd paper.. phew!

more tests.

2006-01-22T10:55:00.000-08:00

cma makes my hair drop.

i dislike it alot alort ALLOORRTT.

halo.

2006-01-20T00:15:00.000-08:00

i wish you will always be one of my friends online, whenever i sign in.

i wish you will be the one always willing to accompany me whenever i am down.

i wish i can party with you all night long.

i wish, and i wish..

then again, all these may not come true.

having this acute lower back pain fer liek 4 days? getting worried and stuffs, but im still cool. hopefully it goes away soon ya. or maybe there's any miracle kind of conference, please please ask and bring me along. let me be heal.. =)

owells, the week had a great one. starting off on Monday with a shopping spree with sze sze. bought tops and lingerie. oh yahs, dangerous curves cost 69.90 dollars FYI. im gna get it. for suree.. jez that prolly now isn't the time yet? waiting fer discount ler.

Tuesday went to work at Hermes. (its pronounced Er-Mass, nort Her-mess !!) a one time event thingy. 7bucks per hr. thou only short 4 hours, but its fun. working with the gers has always been a nice thing. my jobscope basically shuts and limits people from entering a black box called the "masterpiece". this "masterpiece" is done by someone called Yann. yes, Yann. i couldnt stop laughing at that name. that familiar name. mm..

Wednesday. Surprise! Surprise! he caught me by surprise. he msged me, probably having an intention to lepak? too bad, was werking the whole evening and night.. OT till 330am. yawns.

But luckily, Thursday i managed to sleep in. No IS. intended to go darius's house to swim and complete my project. but we were all too lazy, plus the fact that i gotta work later in the evening. sianz.

Today Friday, now feeling so bored, hoping that someone to msg me asking me to lepak.. but he didnt. maybe cos he knoes im meeting my sec sch friends.. owells, shud i or shud i nort? today sucks. i wanna be at Phuture at this time!!

i donwanna be a fat arse.

2006-01-16T01:45:00.000-08:00

urgh life sucks. gaining weight is never something nice. especially to me. fcuk all u these fatty sheetss. u dumbass. leave me alone wont ya?

damn, menses is coming. pms is alrdy on its way. bear with me sweeties.

miss

2006-01-11T01:15:00.000-08:00

you know i will always think about you. without any doubt/.

welcome 2006

2006-01-02T06:56:00.000-08:00

lalala. i had an eventful new year countdown. owells, i worked. no more bistro. yes its ritz. hrmm, what can i say? a nice place (at least its nort crowded), with all the nicest people in Singapore -- my ritz babes and hunks. have fun saying "Happy New Year" to staffs/ guests/ stewarding uncles and aunties.. and of course the managers.. have fun pinching on chinese food, growing fat and calling people up and jez greet em' Happy New Year. wells, thou im nort celebrating it with the people that matters the most to me now, i'm still glad and welcome 2006 with wide open arms. as in, come on la, im gna turn 19! nort happy mehs? its a big deal man.

whats my new year resolutions? well, seriously i haven really think of it, except for the "lose 5 kg this year" resolution. anw it has been my priority resolution EVERY year. mind you, yes every year but each year i failed. its time i really sit down and pen down my wishlist. hehe.

have been in this kinda party mood, am so ashamed of myself. i should be sitting down, burying myself in books. tests are in 2 days' time. and here i am, blogging at a place u guys can never guess where i am. haha try laa. u can nvr get it ryte../ secret place ehs. yes 7 am in the morning of the public holiday and im at sumwhere funny. (: cool isnt it. guess guess..

mee goreng is nice. and im gna slp soon. after his barcardi and beer, i can jez fall flat on the grd. my goodness, am i not a drunkard. jez curse me won't u. liek how siyin describe me.. im a whore. hahahahha. i love eu siyin, u knoe i always do k.

new year new happenings. AA ask me out/ im liek really... hahhaha. cant wait fer da KL trip seriously.. muhahhahaha.

2005-12-30T08:01:00.000-08:00

what kind of hole am i digging myself into?

i'm totally disgusted and disappointed with myself.
very. very.

solutions

2005-12-27T15:45:00.000-08:00

maybe its jez me, and not you.

wouldn't it be nice if its jez the both of us.?

probably i seriously need a brainwash.

i am totally wasted.

xmas fetish

2005-12-22T21:37:00.000-08:00

my whole body feels numb. i feel so empty. i want to escape from this world, this reality. how i wish i can get high drunk every night, hitting cool clubs and preying on new prettyfaces.. i wud love to lead a lyf liek this, better than hearing constant nagging and complaining at home. i had enuff, and i yearn to get out of these. all these heated arguments are getting on my nerves. i can foresee a break down soon. maybe i need a holiday. a long long break from home.

hearing people talking about australia, sydney, perth, melbourne 's stories, are all making me excited, wanting to see the world soon. i wud love to study in melbourne, or maybe emigrate ere' for long. deep inside of me, this probably is the freedom im yearning to achieve in the long run. but how can i really really achieve that? yes, i nidd loads of money. i nidd a bursary.

i love my friends. had a wonderful xmas dinner ystd at fel's place. drinking red wine, talking rubbish, exchanging presents. after that, a post party at zouk. Zouk was amazing. except from the fact that it is blardy blardy crowded. i hate the crowd ere man. but i love their songs and grooves. hrmm, but i prefer MOS more. it was even spectacular when i.. chanced upon this man. he totally lite up my night. oh ya, and i saw my ritz fwends ere. cool place with the right people, thats all i wanted.

my xmas wishlist is damn blardy long. im wishing fer alort alort of stuffs, i wonder this yr any prettyboy Santa will grant me my wishes. 3 days away from xmas, and ive yet got my best buds any stuffs. but still im looking ferward fer that dinner zhen promised to arrange. im waiting fer ure confirmation ger.

wanted to werk fer this jeans, and give it to babyboy fer xmas. but bistro pay ive yet to receive, so xmas gift fer babyboy is abit challenging. i cudnt ged myself nice tops and heels too. im sad too.

i love guys to take this initiative to shove a lighter towards any lady, wanting to lend her a light. eu knoe exactly wad i mean? i knoe my describtive english is damn bad, ok siyin, don say abt my english anymore cans. i knoe im lousy la. bleahs. ok back to the light topic. i love the picture whereby eg. i wanna smoke, and im actually searching fer my lighter, so coincident that there's this guy( could be a fren or stranger) was near me, and he initiatied to take out his lighter before im able to find it, and light it up fer me. i think its really an act of gentleman. and its liek, i feel that there's mutual interest in the atmosphere when he borrowed a lady his light. i love that kinda feeling.

xmas is great.

2005-12-18T23:48:00.000-08:00

love xmas season la. the atmosphere and all. presents, turkeys and bacon cheese. goodness. yummy. 3 days away from my xmas dinner with my girls. am i not excited!

2 days passed jez liek that. nuthing's done. accompany sweetie to study fer his upcoming test tdy at jurong east. ok, i brought my hRM notes. studied awhile with him, then i went to sleep. ha. nice slp thou. slping besyd sweety is always a peaceful one.

went town met up with siyin. she bought nice stuffs fer her cousins la. why am i nort her cousin? anw dear sy, i rly donch mind that guess wallet.. hee. anyhoos.

zhen's hammie passed away. i feel so sad too. i hate all these living and dying, laughing and sobbing. damn.

i wanna catch King Kong.

i nidd to stop drinking. beer belly is out.

chihuahua

2005-12-16T12:23:00.000-08:00

What Breed of Dog Are You?

Becky, you're a Chihuahua!

No bones about it, you're an energetic, devoted Chihuahua. For your breed, size definitely doesn't matter. After all, sometimes the best things (diamonds, car keys, Godiva truffles) come in small packages. Honest and straightforward, you're never afraid to speak up for what you believe in, especially if it's a cause near and dear to your heart. Having such a passionate personality can come with a few drawbacks, though. You can be moody at times, and people often find it hard to live up to your high standards. But once you make a friend, it's for life. Saucy and intense, your energy and unfailing loyalty make you a great companion. Woof!

i love mos - Ministry Of Sound

one word- SpEctaCulaR.

can you imagine inside a club, 2 storey high, with escalator, not stairs mind you. i so love that place la.

it jez make me high.

luff.

2005-12-14T00:31:00.000-08:00

i hate projects. seriously i do. and where have you been these days?

i am going KL in two weeks' time. i love it.(:

i want to be special

2005-12-10T08:42:00.001-08:00

boy, i had yong tau foo, linguine arrabiatta, ho fun today. thats fcuking alort. and imma so guilty. but im so hungry laa. i dno why. a worm? maybe..oh, i bought new slippers. nothing's new, that birkens kind. always wanted to gedd.

sometimes its ironic thou, i don liek people to steal my style, my favourites, my acts, my dos and donts. yet most of the times, i judge people and get jealous of them, yearning for things they have. sighs. maybee its time to change my character. dont always follow people, try something special, new. be the one to start that trend, people will be envious of me for who i am personally.

i dno, my previous para seems so chim. its jez my another random post. i love doing sth funny. cos it makes people laugh. hang out with my secondary school fwends this afternoon. the feelings are good. knoe, seeing em agn, knoeing they're gg NS.. can joke. and ive this sudden urge of getting sweets lingeries. my god. i love being sexy.

i nidd new wallet. i wish whoever is my angel can ged me a wallet fer my christmas.

how i love dancing. i love clubs. man oh man dear. i love dirty dancing.

but first of all, i need to lose those kilos. 5 more kgs to go. perfection(:

so many wants.:/ moneyy i love.

sleep.

2005-12-10T08:42:00.000-08:00

i need a break from Singapore. from all the facets of life im facing now. its all getting heavier. skwel is getting boring. i felt my usual adrenaline is fading rapidly, werk is making my eyes swollen. groups of friends coming in and out of my life.. gimme a break will u this ass?

shall i go genting? or KL? hrmm, or maybe.. maybe not.

newfound glory.

2005-12-08T10:59:00.000-08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PRISCILLA LOY !!! I LOVE YOU.

prissy, my hp down. cant msg u, so i confessed my love for u here in my blog alryte? had a gr8 birthday this year? tell me all about it k.

im depriving of sleep. seriously. i need a long long deep deep sleep.

oh ya, and did i mention? i enjoyed every single part of yesterday. i missed every little details of yesterday.

boy oh boy.

missing that someone new

2005-12-05T22:37:00.000-08:00

feels good back in blogging life. yea, of cos i have sth to share. i dno, sth personal i feel. but i nidda a space to let it go. this maybe a good place?

im sad, bistro is closing. the fwends ive made there.. i mean, i rly like them. i can joke with them and all. i love working there, thou pay is late in general. its jez that i don wan to leave the people ere.

im nort a slut, neither am i a fcuking whore. i like meeting new people. making new relationships with people around me. having some drinking/dancing sessions.. i don see it as a sin having flings.

knoe, i jez have this unfaithful feelings in me now. not jez now, for past 1 month? i dno. maybe ive been losing touch with jakpeng. and maybe ive gaining more contact with other people i knoe of. so ive sort of start this "wanting-to-keep-a-newboy" kinda feelings. i knoe its so muthufcuking of me, but i started to miss this someone. we've jez met, and he's leaving soon.

indeed, we've jez met, and he's leaving. leaving me.
i enjoyed being around him. thats my point.

my best man.

2005-11-04T20:40:00.000-08:00

I feel like I am seeing him for the first time. Does every lady feel this way? Even brides with plain grooms? Does every lady feel that her groom is the most handsome man in the world? Probably.

With all my heart, i want the best for him. I want this day to be perfect, and it chews me up because I know that it can never be perfect.

And my spirit lifts because today I feel brand new, as though the good old days are about to finally start. Although there are many things behind us, some of them wretched and sad and painful, there's also so much ahead of us, so much to look forward to, so much yet to come.

I am certain about this man. I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I want his face to be the last thing I see at night and the first thing I see in the morning. I want to watch that face as it changes through the years. I want to know every birthmark on his body, to commit every pimples and scars to memory.

I draw a deep breath.

"I do,"

lala

2005-11-01T00:31:00.000-08:00

your heart jez lighten up once your officially nort a Seiki staff. that applies to me totally and im so proud of it.

6 weeks of torture finally came to an end. yet boss still nort willing to challenge us laa. last minute he mia to msia, leaving the 4 of us plus bid crab, 5 peepx, waiting liek debtors for him in tiong branch jez now. that scene was damn amusing. but at that point of tyme, my humor glands nort yet start functioning.. in fact, my anger spores did. fcuk. i knoe i shouldnt let my fwends see that side of me. another temper control problem. damn.

went towning with meiyee and siyin laa. had pasta fer lunch. today is a carbo day. carbo fer breakfast, lunch and dinner. hot fudge sundae for supper. is that fat or Fat? shop fer tops, skirts and bags.. reserves a couple of them.. hopefully can ged em end of this week. part of me cant wait fer sch to start.. but the thought of needing to werk and study makes my legs go weak again.. can i jez stop working fer the tyme being..? fcuk, wad a lame and dumb qns.

i nidda tan. strong tan. (:

hearts.

2005-10-26T21:12:00.000-07:00

my heart will always beat together with yours.

long long way

2005-10-24T19:42:00.000-07:00

time passes very very slowly today. a customer stood me upp too. she said she's coming dwn to book the jetstar air tickets. but she didnt. fcuk auntie.

loads of newbies in seiki these days. come this couple laa. so sweet. reminds me of my past with varian. we used to work together/have lunch together at Noel Gifts Co. Memories are always the best part of old bedtime stories. and yes, i'm missing them bits by bits. Sweet memories cannort be washed off jez liek that. you understand wad im saying? humpf. kies, hopefully.

last week in seiki come with both happiness and sadness laa. sadness cos i quite like the envt thou its abit sian at tymes when ure sales cocked up.. happiness is that i finally can get out of here. hrmm, gedding back to school seems straining to the ears, but okies laa. time pass rather pass especially u intend to waste it. im ready to.(:

advanced theory test tmr. praying and studying hard cans. wanna go shop fer clothes for thurs gotham.!! cant wait. gonna ciao. shall update more often.

puasa day.

2005-10-05T16:58:00.000-07:00

today is puasa day. happies. cos this is the second hari raya me and joji are spending together.

now in marina square, slacking cans. nuthing else to do so blogg. lyfe in tiong fer da past 2 days, hrmm, wasnt as bad as ive thought. yes, busy laa. cos eu cant kip ure mouth close. i'll either be on the phone, or talking to customers, or maybe chatting with andy xinling and see lame jokes online with ken. wtf la. those bunch are fun people. ms only got disgusting people liek c**s. k, very bad. 3 more weeks, and its gna be back to school week.

anyway, i've passed my basic theory test. whoa. yea, thats an exclamation. of cos must publish fervently laa. gna sit fer my advance on 25oct, after which i can go fer prac in circuits. wanna pass fast ler. but i have this fear in me. maybe due to my inferior characteristcs, ok, to be specific, cos im short n fat. ill be so scare. hrmm. we'll see when its cums my prac.

realise that i might have to werk on both weekends. im darn agitated when i receive this ugly news. i donwan to werk on both sat n sun. boss oso dno wad she wans. first ask us to arrange among ourselves. next say ive no choice. liek wtf. pissed.

i nidda to have more tyme. can sumone pls extend the tyme fer me? i nidda spend more tym with my family. i really need. fcuk. i miss em. seriously. alort.

k i guess ive nth to touch on. i wanna meet up alort of people. tts a big thing. and hopefully i can endure this whole month of puasa.

ciao.

resting.

2005-09-30T23:13:00.000-07:00

came online to charge my ipod. its so boring to see no one online in msn on a friday night. becos eu knoe that all ure fwens are having fun outside and here you are, at home doing nuthing. and how bitter my lyfe can ged.. had maggi fer dinner?!!? thats so sad isnt it? but anyhoos, i knoe im still enjoying my lyfe la.

werk at Seiki wasnt as bad as i felt at first. its alryte now thou. cos people start calling in, geding busier at marina square. i thought its quite fun when its geds busy. siyin still find it boring. ha(: agree with felicia that we'll surely gain lil weight after these whole 6 weeks thingy. everyday in da office jez eat n type. no lyfe, and fattening. imagine that lil tummy is cumming out!! fcuk. must exercise.. please. but so lazyy. alamak. so i resort to nort going fer my lunch break. haha. ultimate solution.

sat is tmr. yeah. im meeting azhar. cant wait cans. dno what we gna do but im sure we'll be so happies.

we've been bitching about the uncle in my office. hahahha. cant stop laughing and joking about him. owells.

have been craving fer supper these days. damn guilty.

precious

2005-09-20T23:45:00.000-07:00

work sucks as per normal. and i'm in charge of this poster project. i tout attachment should be interesting and simple? it doesn't seems this way now.

lucky siyin came marina today. if not i will be bored to death. tmr will be a total living hell. im gonna be alone in that blardy office for 8 hours. and, eating lunch alone? how cruel can that be?

baby is nice as usual. everything is sweetness now.(: except for work. and weekends' shift. fcuk itp.

ciao.

ITP.

2005-09-19T23:41:00.000-07:00

had this urge to blog.

ITP commenced today. bleahs. everything seems to be going smoothly. but i've nuthing to do seriously. other than picking up calls. owells, and i've to learn about all the packages details. which i totally have no interest in eu see. but overall, nice environment, nice boss.. hopefully can clinch afew deals.(:

had dinner with sy and est. hopefully est is feeling better. the love between them is so so strong.

maybee NS afterall is not a bad thang. the rltshp between me and azhar grew so much better that i've never expected. the love is getting stronger each day. he have learnt to compromise, and he is becoming more liek a man. thou there'll be times when he's really tired and feeling lazy, on a whole i knoe he's trying his best to be a nice gentleman to me. which make me feel so proud of him. yes, his ego is still there, and i believe will be forever there? however the thing that make me so shock is that he no longer take this rltshp fer granted. he cherish it and everything. and all these make me cry - tears of happiness i believe.

every night he will say me misses me. he never once use these kinda honey words on me. but he did it recently. how amazing. i love the way he is now. but there'll be tymes where i will liek think, "Is this really my boyfriend? is he really the one who used to be so crude and unloving?" Haha. most of the time i've to convince myself that ya!, he's still that reggae hiphop freak i've known 1.5years ago at the Hendrix bar. wearing the Lost blue cap, with the stussy belt and stussy yellow top. dancing around with his friend's jacket liek a crazy man to attract my attention.(: everything single detail of our past is still alive in my mind.

ok, if eu find the whole chunk above is mushy, then don read it. click that X red box icon on the top right hand corner of ure webpage. i jez wanna wryte out so next tyme i can read back.

gotta ged back in bed.ciao.
missing baby sweetheart darling pie love.

indochine, i want.

2005-09-16T19:56:00.000-07:00

its a Friday. but i am not at all happy. my pay has been delayed further. my body is not functioning well. the feeling of bloatness is back. the only thing im looking forward, which is motivating me to stay cool is that Sweetie is outta camp for the weekend. and he's meeting me!

hmm, that's a good motivator. the fact that he has to go back to that ghastly place on Sunday nite makes me wanna cherish our weekends even more. he said he heard noises while he's sleeping. now that's abit freaky.

exams offically over. sem 1 of yr2 was already history. that's sth to celebrate abt. poor me, still trapped at hme. miss the orchard streets.. especially when a big group of Ngee Ann students are heading to Indochine fer some boggie nite later. how i yearn to go too. if only im rich. owells. (:

after the weekends, attachment gonna start. im starting to lose grip of time. so many things to do.. so lil time and money. really. 4 oct going for my basic theory. liek yay. wanna use this holidays' tyme to really catch up with my old frens i've yet to see maybe liek months?. make some tym fer me ladies.

gotta logged off soon. nose is driping liek fast tap. exams have been a flunk for the past week. im jez praying fer the best. and at the same tyme, anticipating the worst.

takkaire. god bless.
ciao

missing eu

2005-09-14T23:03:00.000-07:00

finally i've got the time to blogg. cos tmr ere isn't any paper. liek finally.. so today is a resting day.(: hees.

went town-ing with esther jez now after our ief and fit paper. Hmm, i wouldn't dare to say the paper is easy. but i wish at least i pass ief. AAA is jez a flop laa. Don't wanna wish to talk about it. Cos its badd. very badd. i swear man, this semester is a damn disastrous sem of all. I pray hard i don ged to repeat any modules. And, if lucky lucky i pass everything, i promise i'll work harder next sem. i really do promise laa.

had fun eating my ban mian. i finished it all! man, eu cant imagine how hungry i was cans. my stomach growls in the middle of the paper, and yes, i heard it all. Damn nice. (: nicest ban mian, but qiulian ban mian still rules. yeah yeah. head down to far east to survey the prices of rebonding. 120bucks for rebonding+haircut+treatment.. isn't that a great deal? she's gonna do it tmr. im excited. as well as she herself.

we kept chatting as we walked down the streets of town. wisma to taka.. to takopachi to lemonade.. yummy! greats chats we had. talk about relationships, futures. i find them interesting thou. we had fun trying tops and skirts in zara, topshop.. i come across this damn nice pair of heels. 125bucks. expensive, but its nicee cans. who is willing to buy fer me? confirm nort joji. he jez paid my bills fer me.

a couple of needs & wants right now in my mind.

a. Zara heels. 125
b. zara formal skirt. 49.90
c. Xccessories bag 34.90
or.. d. Far east bag 39.90
e. Baby-G watch 185
f. Gucci Shades NA
g. Tops&bottoms - yet to see any nicee ones.

yes, i really have so many wants. When can i ged em liek in one shot? wait long long lo.

couples of short-term liabilities too.

1. Jamie 7
2. Daddy 60
3. SzeSze 4

im so fcuking poor cans. Damnit. and i nidd ged my train concession on 19sept. Gotta wryte all these in my reality notebook. Online diary is to show off my liabilites. Bleahs.

sweetheart has gone into the palace of torture - National Service. But luckily he got into Civil Defence. so its not that bad. He doesn't need to go to Tekong training, which is something to celebrate about, and he can come out tmr alrdy!! cos its Civil Defence Day tmr. Happy Civil Defence Day bro! (:

been missing honey alot. thou its not something we've nvr tried before, but somehow the feeling is different. Its liek he's in jail or sth. Choi laa, but its rly sth liek part of me has gone away fer a holiday. Esther kno what i mean. cos we've been talking abt this topic since we board 77 jez now. ha.

tmr he is out. fri last paper. first sem over. finally. hurray. champagne!

coming up next, esther 19th birthday. baby chocs 20th birthday. excited...!!!

last paper om. hopefully will do much better than AAA and ief. boohoo. ciao.

stressed.

2005-09-09T14:29:00.000-07:00

im tired. keep yawning. but tmr is my marketing paper. liek what the fcuk ryte? dammnit.

going to meet siyin at chomp chomp later. To have coffee and study my marketing. hrmm, what should i drink later? mocha ice blended. k, set.

everyone has started studying. For ief, AAA, Om.. bleahs. i dno how am i going to pass ieF laa. the content of ieF seems so foreign to me. Hopefully can scrape thru la. Jez anyhow, pickaBoo..

shouldn't be blogging often these days. Most prob i will be acting Owl. Waking up in the wee hours to study. Yes.

ciao.

Chalet at Downtown East!!

2005-09-04T23:56:00.000-07:00

saw faezah while waiting for sze's bro this afternoon at pasir ris downtown east. hee, so coincident laa. went fer sze's birthday party at downtown east ystd. stayover on the saturday nitex and went home in the afternoon. Wanted to visit foowen, but in the end, no one called. so... Sleep somemore!!!

Fun is the word to describe at the chalet. We bbq, eat, drink, smoke, play cai-quan, watch sun rise... Everything is so nicee. i really lurve the tyme we bbq. liek the closeness i felt among my frens is sucha sweet aroma laa. Really lurve the way we friends spend time together liek this..(:

Thanks Sze Sze for everything. I lurvee eu to bacon bits!!!!!! i wish that eu can always be happy. Stop worrying so much.(:

and meiwei is drunk! Wtf la. hahaha. But everything was under control laa. Thou we got abit siao, went to get Absolute Vodka from Cheers and had Screwdriver and Vodka Sprite throughout. Oh, we had knit too. Thats y mewe dieded. hahaha(:

Babyy has been feeling his blues these days. I'm always a suay one. Bleahs.

Started studying! yayaaa.. Only AAA laa. But at least i started k. Going back to my Partnership 2 !!

Ciao.
xoxox..

love this day.

2005-09-02T02:12:00.000-07:00

wanted to blog sth real nicee, that's fresh in my brain this afternoon. somehow, i've forgotten about the content.

work real hard in bistro jez now. but unfortunately it rained the whole day so outdoor was closed. kinda relieved. So all of us were relaxing most of the time. had part of cajun sole, and brownie ice cream.

Can u imagine? a lady complained about me today. haha. "I want to speak to your manager." Yes, i was extremely rude to her. She's damn irritating and fussy laa. Cant stand this kinda customer. luckily it was Botak. If not.. ha, bye bistro!!

Fun day today. Thou abit tiring, but still its filled with laughter and fun people.

(:

clumsy day.

2005-09-01T01:31:00.000-07:00

i jez splash a half loaf garlic bread and penne primevera on the seat at bistro.

is that clumsy or clumsy?

i can't help it. ran out of bistro and cried. i dno what had came over me. Yesterday. Today. Things within me seems bottling up. i dno what is inside of me that is making me blur, block-minded and sickly that i can't even perform up to standard. Can eu imagine i really drop everything!? i jez can't believe it.

Is it tiredness? Or is it plain boredom?

i donnoe. And i have absolutely no idea. Me myself felt so confided. Seems liek im bonded by a bondage or sth that doesnt allows any breathing space for me till Crying is the only way out. Only way of releasing inner frustration and beyond words feelings. Bad for health thou. But i have no other better confiders. In fact, nobody will understand what im trying to bring across. So, wud rather keep it within myself.

Maybe its the mid life crisis? nahhh...

went towning with sze. nort rly shopping laa. went to catch a glimpse of my Aldo slip-ons again before heading work. so sweet. i cant stand it anymore. so so damn nicee laa.(: i really wanna ged it. sugar daddy anyoneee?

had a haircut fer 19bucks today at da DJ Salon. hmm, new look thou. shorter length.. but look messier. i lurve the ruggard look esp when i wax it. Bleahss... comments k.

sze is really mua sugar mummy. she treat me so many stuffs today. from the Shinlin Chix, to Thai Express Prawn Fritters and Tom Yum Talay and of course the most magnificent is the marshmallows chocolates!!! Omg.

Sze, i swear i will treat u too when ive the money kk. i really appreciate everything u did. ure jez so adorable. thanks so so much. ure liek my angel blessing me all along. if nort fer u, i would be dead of hunger.(: love ya.

stomach is growling now. betta ged to slp bef i go make sth to eat.
ciao.

sometimes i wonder....

2005-08-31T00:46:00.000-07:00

the one of the worst days i've had.

low self esteem. i knoe its jez so not becky to have a low esteem cos if eu knoe me well, i've always been confident with my undertakings. nearly nothing bothers me. But today, my esteem level.. pooff!! It went all the way Down with a capital D!

sometimes i wonder why am i born liek that? Short.. Plump.. Log-like legs and thighs.. Whatever i wear jez don't compliment my size/body. Whatever i try jez won't match. Whatever that's nice on other ladies, they don't suit me AT ALL. Whatever kind of tops or skirts jez don't fit. I get fed up at times. But today, i jez cant stand it anymore.

I HAD ENOUGH OF ALL THESE SHIT ! ! ! ! ! ! !

i envy siyin. i envy jasmine. i am jealous of faezah..shuzhu..felicia..esther all. They seems liek don't need to worry anything. Need money, there's money. Need clothes, there's clothes. Need a haircut, can cut it straight away.

But what about me? I have to scrimp and save. I have to work liek a cow. And Even working 100hours per month is still not enough for me. I wonder how long it has been since my last haircut. Seriously everything jest sucks, seems yucky to me now. I've lost interest in all stuffs.

Family... Relationship... Friends...

I do have my needs and wants. Clothes, shoes.. But i jest can't afford. maybe not now. Next tyme. Its all jest peer pressure.K, lets drop this topic. Gedding irritating. Maybe i should adopt a budget-life strategy. Firstly can lost some pounds, secondly hopefully can save more money.(:

went towning with the girls. Sy bought a really nice suit. Rich girl.(: Ha, jasmine can't find anything nicee. Sz and faeza waiting to go Jurong Point and get cheap cheap formal wear. Clever! I'm tagging along too. Hees. yeah. but what about my budget lunch? ?

most of the times alot of things doesn't come by the way you want it. i just want to have a relationship build strongly upon trust. But, till now i have yet to achieve. Let's jest pray hard.(:

love everyone so much..
xoxoxo

gimme a moneyy tree.

2005-08-29T23:56:00.000-07:00

Starhub smsed me. They threaten me.

"Kindly make immediate payment. Otherwise, outgoing calls will be barred."

Blardy Hell. i didnt pay for 2 months only.. then Starhub so ya-ya alrdy. Damn pissed laa. Its not that i don have the moneyy. jest that i choose nort to pay cans. Humphf. Owells. that's reality.

imma so so broke nowadays. i jest wish i don't need to wear formal for work. please..

i've so much to buy. but so little moneyy. lets see what i need to get this month...

1) Pay bills.
2) Cut and dye hair(must!!priority!!)
3) Contact lenses.
4) a skirt or tops.

but i wanna save upp too. Fcukshit.

nidda meet upp soon with mua girlies.
lizhen, syl.
of cos my lil lydia too.(:
aini.. yana. missing all eu gerlos lotsa.

coffee someday?
ciao.